Whereas in her twenties, she would have refused to consider marriage to a stay-at-home father while she went out and earned the family’s income, today, she sees how that pattern could be the best way some marriages honor God.
“That probably shocks a lot of good conservatives,” she giggles.
In her twenties, she wouldn’t have thought twice about adopting a conventional spousal pattern, being a stay-at-home wife for a breadwinner husband. “I’ve come to realize that my chief goal in life is using my gifts and talents to benefit others to God’s glory and the advancement of his kingdom.
Yet, looking back, she’s relieved God did not allow her to get married with that mindset. For some women, that means focusing 100 percent on being a wife and mom.
But it has been revealing, especially as Phillips began to learn some life-changing things about her own personality and cultural assumptions.
She admits that over time, her perspective on the roles for husbands and wives has evolved.
“My gifts are not primarily gifts that are exercised in the home; they’re gifts better exercised outside the home,” she explains.
“And here’s the most important part: my working outside the home is the fulfillment of God’s design for me, not contrary to it.” Not that Phillips is a hard-charging career woman, or that she’s rationalizing away her unfulfilled desire for marriage.
” Does your circle of single friends seem to dwindle every summer, as your circle of married friends grows larger?
For Phillips, glorifying God has included obtaining a degree from Dallas Theological Seminary, a second postgraduate degree in public relations, and starting a doctoral program this fall.
She owns her own marketing firm, has worked for a private Christian college, and speaks at women’s conferences.
“Your relational status is just another way you go through life fulfilling your God-given purpose,” she reasons, likening marriage and singlehood to taking a trip from landlocked Colorado to Hawaii. And for some reason, that was the only flight this week? You can take a bus or train, or rent a car from Denver to get to the West Coast, then board any number of ships. The point is to get to Hawaii, and there are multiple ways of doing that.
SEE ALSO: Solo Zone: Gays, Christians and Holiness “You go to the airport in Denver, to board a plane,” she begins. “However, too many singles will sit in the airport of life, obsessed with getting on the marriage plane, as if that’s the only way to go.